Well, that time has come.. the time when I can no longer justifiably postpone updating this stupid blog. sighh. Let's talk about week six. But first let's talk a little about the end of week five.
During week five, I was doing quite well away for work. I found it surprisingly easy to eat well, and although I did have my moments (mostly involving the unavoidable need for caffeine), I never felt like I was out of control.
Here's some insight into how my mind works. In a nutshell, I am all or nothing. I have tried to mediate this some, I even bought a book called Small Change to see if I could learn how to be a more moderate person, but again and again I have found that I have to do things 100% or not at all. This is in no way meant to be some kind of bragging disguised as a woeful admittance, because about 98% of the time, I'm at zero percent. How ironic is that? I'm all or nothing, except in my all or nothing percentage. What. I want an iced coffee. And stop analyzing whether or not that situation is actually ironic. The 13 people in the world who know the true definition of ironic and can give good examples and correct the rest of the population when they misuse the term... you go on and git.
So here's my point: if I start to do something 100% and I feel myself slipping in any way, I feel as though I have failed, and I truly don't know the difference between 99% and 1%. For example, if I am on a hardcore diet and I break down one day and have a pop, it's pretty much a given that I'll also have ice cream, a frappuccino, chips and salsa, and a frozen pizza by the time the day is done. And I'll swear to start over the next day.
The problem with that when attempting something like a low-sugar diet lies in the addictive nature of sugar. Toward the end of week five, I had slipped a few times, but I didn't lose my stride because I think I had expected to go all out and I was feeling pretty good about the progress I had made. But more importantly than that was the fact that I didn't feel like I wanted to eat. I didn't have the physical cravings. It was no skin off my back if I passed something up, and I attribute that to the lack of a sugar addiction raging inside.
I think I must have started to feel that I deserved a day off. Or maybe I just felt like I had finally kicked cravings and I could maintain control even by giving in occasionally. I'm not sure exactly how it snowballed, but without getting into too many gory details, I was derailed this week. Big time. Full-on sugar festival. And flour and potatoes and fast food.
Every single day I intended to get back on track, and the frustrating thing to me is this annoying all-or-nothing personality that I don't really know how to overcome. If I couldn't start the day off with breakfast, I didn't even try for lunch or dinner. Before I knew it, I was drinking pop with every meal, coffee at work, fast food for lunch, junk food for supper, etc. And I was right back to feeling completely out of control.
But there's more. I want you all to understand the physical hold that sugar/flour/dairy (or the so-called "white menace") can have on a person.
We already covered the mental component. Cravings dominated my days. I felt as though I had no control over what I chose to eat. It was easy for me to justify eating whatever I wanted.
Physically, this is how I felt this week:
-exhausted. Head-bobbing-at-work, trying-to-keep-my-eyes-open-while-driving, fall-asleep-while-standing-up exhausted. And the scariest thing to me is how familiar this feeling is. I had forgotten how tired I felt before I gave up sugar and dairy. So far today I've had more naps than Jett has. I get nothing done when I feel this way.
-sluggish and weak. Probably related to the sheer exhaustion, but I simply cannot muster the energy to do anything. Even type this blog, for example. But things like washing bottles, throwing clothes in the wash, making the bed, and showering feel like a lot of work. When I do stand up, I see bursts of light and shooting stars and I have to sit back down in a big hurry.
-irritable, mopey, moody. I can feel my tolerance slipping. I'm a total crab at work. I'm crabby from the second I wake up in the morning. The only time I'm not crabby.. is when I'm eating. Sounds like an addiction to me..?!?!
-persistent stomach-aches. I just don't feel good. Most days, hardly good enough to get out of bed.
-congested. I don't have a cold, but my ears are plugged, my throat is thick, my sinuses are congested. I'm confident this is mostly the dairy.
-racing heart. Perhaps it's only attributable to the sugar and caffeine, but for as exhausted as I feel, I often lay in bed and just feel my heart race.
-headaches. Daily, pounding headaches.
-chest pains. It's hard to describe these. They aren't like a radiating chest pain. It's more of an intermittent shooting pain in between my ribs.
-shortness of breath. I feel 8 months pregnant. Climbing the stairs at work is tough. Any kind of exertion makes me see stars (like standing up, as mentioned earlier).
The thing that is so unbelievable to me is that I used to feel like this all the time. And while I was switching to low sugar/no dairy, I didn't notice as each of these symptoms vanished. I didn't even realize how great I felt until I slipped back into my old habits. Now that I'm fully immersed in how I used to feel, I think I will be able to pull out of this thing and start fresh.
One thing that I'm realizing with this little week-by-week experiment is that although there is a focus on the percentage lost each week, for me the real focus is on how I feel. I don't want to go the rest of my life feeling like this. I want to feel as great as I did a few weeks ago. At least now I know how attainable it is. I just need to get my momentum back. Wish me luck.
ps. My weight went up 1.91% this week. Amazing. I was consistently seeing the weight come off, and now in one week I have added almost 2% back on. I won't be taking any more holidays any time soon.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Week five results. Note the lack of an exclamation point.
Well.. I'm feeling pretty non-spectacular! I was gone this past week for business, and surprisingly, it was actually pretty easy to eat well. The hardest part was avoiding caffeine.. (did I mention I was sitting in class eight hours a day?) but we were able to select whatever we wanted from the restaurant within the hotel for lunches, and they had a decent variety of healthy options. Then since dinner was being paid for by the bank, I felt like I could branch out and try different things and not worry about wasting my money. Get this: one of the nights we went to a wonderful little Italian joint called Zelo, and I didn't even have my usual unimaginative fettuccine. I had Alaskan halibut and bell pepper/mango quinoa with red curry-lime broth and Thai basil. Oh, and edamame with sea-salt to start. How grown up am I! I'm glad I tried it, too. It was one of the best meals I've ever tasted. If you can get to downtown Minneapolis, you must try it. It was amazing. Anyway, my point is that I found it remarkably easy to eat well while I was there, and we did a fair amount of walking around in the evening so I wasn't completely sedentary.
However.. I came home on Friday to a house devoid of healthy food. Combine that with having been served my food for a week, and I was not prepared to start cooking and cleaning like some kind of savage. So I made a frozen pizza. sighh.
The good news is that I maintained my weight. I still weigh exactly what I weighed when I left. The bad news is, of course, that I still weigh exactly what I weighed when I left.
This week I downloaded a bunch of new apps for my iPod (which I will review on the Blog page) that I think will help with this little endeavor. Check them out!
Until next week.
However.. I came home on Friday to a house devoid of healthy food. Combine that with having been served my food for a week, and I was not prepared to start cooking and cleaning like some kind of savage. So I made a frozen pizza. sighh.
The good news is that I maintained my weight. I still weigh exactly what I weighed when I left. The bad news is, of course, that I still weigh exactly what I weighed when I left.
This week I downloaded a bunch of new apps for my iPod (which I will review on the Blog page) that I think will help with this little endeavor. Check them out!
Until next week.
Week four results!
I have a lot to say, but not much time to say it, so here goes:
This week I lost another 2.15%! For the longest time I was convinced I couldn't lose weight the normal way, so now every week when I have another (albeit small) percentage lost, it motivates me to keep trying to get healthy. Little by little is not something I'm used to. People who know me well know that I'm all or nothing with just about everything, so this business of taking it slow and easy is new for me. And I'm surprised that I like it! I feel so... normal!
Last time I posted, I mentioned my dumb eye. I went and saw an opthalmologist yesterday, and he couldn't find anything wrong, so that's good.. right? Except that I still have an undiagnosed bad eye. I stocked up on Vitamins A and D, zinc/copper, lutein and more Omega 3s.. let's see if I can practice what I'm always preaching and take care of it with vitamins. I asked the doc if there was anything I couldn't do, and he said to lay off the computer and rest my eyes. I asked him if he was sure that was it..? Maybe I shouldn't be exercising?? But I think I looked too hopeful, and he quickly assured me that I could indeed exercise. Doh.
This next week will be challenging, and not just because I no longer have a justifiable excuse not to exercise. I'm heading to Minneapolis for training. I leave tomorrow and won't be back until Friday evening, so this sugar-free thing is going to be tough! No per diem either, so those dessert menus are going to be larger than life. I'm going with a co-worker who is very active, so she'll probably drag me down to the exercise room at least once or twice. (Stupid bum eye that's not good for getting me out of exercise!) I'm hoping I can at least maintain, if nothing else.
I'll be incommunicado this week, but I'll post my (dreaded) results next Saturday. Expect some pretty serious self-loathing then, but for now I'm excited about 7.11% lost! I'm almost a third of the way there.
Thanks for listening. See you in a week!
This week I lost another 2.15%! For the longest time I was convinced I couldn't lose weight the normal way, so now every week when I have another (albeit small) percentage lost, it motivates me to keep trying to get healthy. Little by little is not something I'm used to. People who know me well know that I'm all or nothing with just about everything, so this business of taking it slow and easy is new for me. And I'm surprised that I like it! I feel so... normal!
Last time I posted, I mentioned my dumb eye. I went and saw an opthalmologist yesterday, and he couldn't find anything wrong, so that's good.. right? Except that I still have an undiagnosed bad eye. I stocked up on Vitamins A and D, zinc/copper, lutein and more Omega 3s.. let's see if I can practice what I'm always preaching and take care of it with vitamins. I asked the doc if there was anything I couldn't do, and he said to lay off the computer and rest my eyes. I asked him if he was sure that was it..? Maybe I shouldn't be exercising?? But I think I looked too hopeful, and he quickly assured me that I could indeed exercise. Doh.
This next week will be challenging, and not just because I no longer have a justifiable excuse not to exercise. I'm heading to Minneapolis for training. I leave tomorrow and won't be back until Friday evening, so this sugar-free thing is going to be tough! No per diem either, so those dessert menus are going to be larger than life. I'm going with a co-worker who is very active, so she'll probably drag me down to the exercise room at least once or twice. (Stupid bum eye that's not good for getting me out of exercise!) I'm hoping I can at least maintain, if nothing else.
I'll be incommunicado this week, but I'll post my (dreaded) results next Saturday. Expect some pretty serious self-loathing then, but for now I'm excited about 7.11% lost! I'm almost a third of the way there.
Thanks for listening. See you in a week!
Bah.
Frustrating day. I was home with Jett today, which made me realize a big weakness of mine. When I have a lot of downtime and don't keep myself busy, I eat. Idle eating. I literally cannot control it. I wasn't even hungry, and I barely even had a craving. But candy was available, so I ate it. And the more I ate, the more I felt like the day was shot so I may as well keep eating. Ughh. I feel like a total pile. Well, they say to have a cheat day every now and then to keep your metabolism guessing, but I'm really not feeling good about today at all. I felt so good when I was sugar-free. Now one day of sugar and I'm jittery and crabby and down.
On top of that, I still haven't exercised this week. I have a scary thing going on with my eye, and I'm a little afraid of what exertion might do to exacerbate the problem. I can't focus on anything with my left eye, and I occasionally have a shooting pain there, so it freaks me out a lot. My mom had a weird eye condition that required a procedure after which she had to stay face down for like six weeks. If I have something similar, I don't want to do anything that might make things worse. As a result, I'm relying on diet alone until I get some answers (Friday's my appointment). Until then, I need to get a cool eye patch or something.
Sorry to post such a bummer of an update. They can't all be up days. On a lighter note, I saw some before and after pictures of my cousin who has been working really hard for the past two months, and you can see some pretty dramatic changes. It's encouraging. So I'll stick with it. The next time I'm tempted to eat candy, I'm going to remember how I feel right now and maybe it will help me to just walk away.
All for now. Later, cats.
On top of that, I still haven't exercised this week. I have a scary thing going on with my eye, and I'm a little afraid of what exertion might do to exacerbate the problem. I can't focus on anything with my left eye, and I occasionally have a shooting pain there, so it freaks me out a lot. My mom had a weird eye condition that required a procedure after which she had to stay face down for like six weeks. If I have something similar, I don't want to do anything that might make things worse. As a result, I'm relying on diet alone until I get some answers (Friday's my appointment). Until then, I need to get a cool eye patch or something.
Sorry to post such a bummer of an update. They can't all be up days. On a lighter note, I saw some before and after pictures of my cousin who has been working really hard for the past two months, and you can see some pretty dramatic changes. It's encouraging. So I'll stick with it. The next time I'm tempted to eat candy, I'm going to remember how I feel right now and maybe it will help me to just walk away.
All for now. Later, cats.
Week 3 Results
Week three was a good week for me. I started my low-sugar diet, which, so far, has astounded me. More on that in a second. In week three, I lost 1.55%. Yeah!
Side note: I am wondering more and more why I decided to go with 22.3%. It seems like a totally arbitrary number. I should have rounded it to 22.5%.
About the low sugar diet. If you have never tried one, I highly recommend it. I have been amazed this week at how easy it was to forget about food. I am now much more aware of the hold that sugar can have over me. When I consumed a lot of 'white' foods (sugar, pasta, flour, etc), I never felt full and I felt hungry all the time. These are over-generalizations that don't quite convey how much I thought about food. Even as I'd eat lunch I would be thinking about what I would snack on in the afternoon and what I would pick up for supper. This week in particular was incredibly stressful at work, which, for me, always leads to more snacking and 'gimmes'. For some reason, when I am stressed out, I feel more entitled to eat. Like I deserve it because I'm having a bad day. Every single day was bad this week, so I find it remarkable that it was so easy to stay on track.
I've always known that sugar is addictive and creates a vicious cycle of wanting to eat more and more, but I also believed that it was just a matter of will power to overcome those urges. If you are currently wrestling with a diet that seems to be getting the best of you, try reducing your sugar and flour intake. If there's a way to avoid the constant fight with cravings all day, it's worth a try!
Just to further emphasize my point, I did not exercise once this week. I put in a lot of overtime at work, and by the time I got home at night I was so exhausted I couldn't possibly imagine facing Jillian Michaels. So the 2.5 lbs that came off this week were due entirely to cutting out sugar.
In this next week, exercise will be a priority. I'm anxious to see how well it works to combine this new way of eating with exercise.
Until next time! and please, if you read this portion of my blog, I would love to hear from you. Post what you're doing that works. Post your tricks. Post what motivates you. Post what you would recommend for me. I want to know more!
Side note: I am wondering more and more why I decided to go with 22.3%. It seems like a totally arbitrary number. I should have rounded it to 22.5%.
About the low sugar diet. If you have never tried one, I highly recommend it. I have been amazed this week at how easy it was to forget about food. I am now much more aware of the hold that sugar can have over me. When I consumed a lot of 'white' foods (sugar, pasta, flour, etc), I never felt full and I felt hungry all the time. These are over-generalizations that don't quite convey how much I thought about food. Even as I'd eat lunch I would be thinking about what I would snack on in the afternoon and what I would pick up for supper. This week in particular was incredibly stressful at work, which, for me, always leads to more snacking and 'gimmes'. For some reason, when I am stressed out, I feel more entitled to eat. Like I deserve it because I'm having a bad day. Every single day was bad this week, so I find it remarkable that it was so easy to stay on track.
I've always known that sugar is addictive and creates a vicious cycle of wanting to eat more and more, but I also believed that it was just a matter of will power to overcome those urges. If you are currently wrestling with a diet that seems to be getting the best of you, try reducing your sugar and flour intake. If there's a way to avoid the constant fight with cravings all day, it's worth a try!
Just to further emphasize my point, I did not exercise once this week. I put in a lot of overtime at work, and by the time I got home at night I was so exhausted I couldn't possibly imagine facing Jillian Michaels. So the 2.5 lbs that came off this week were due entirely to cutting out sugar.
In this next week, exercise will be a priority. I'm anxious to see how well it works to combine this new way of eating with exercise.
Until next time! and please, if you read this portion of my blog, I would love to hear from you. Post what you're doing that works. Post your tricks. Post what motivates you. Post what you would recommend for me. I want to know more!
Coffee Test
I decided one way I'm going to see if giving up sugar for two weeks makes a difference. Now I'm waving my hands in front of your face so you forget how awkwardly worded that sentence was.
First of all, let me say that yesterday was not my Day One for giving up sugar. I woke up about 7 minutes before I should have been at my desk, so I didn't have time to pack my breakfast and lunch and multitude of sugarless snacks. In fact, I started my day off with a 6 oz cup of coffee sweetened with 12 grams of sugar. (3 teaspoons) That's a lot of sugar for one cup of coffee.
I have been going strong so far today. In fact, my total intake for the day has been less than one gram of added sugar. Tonight I'm going to go to Extreme Pita and get the pita with the lowest amount of sugar.
Now then. Let's take a moment to reflect on how much I just digressed. (My sixth grade teacher always said "Now, then group." and I stared off into space for 8-9 seconds every time she said it because I couldn't figure out what it meant.)
Back to the coffee thing. When I'm done with two whole weeks of sugar freeness..ity, I'm going to make another cup of coffee and see how many grams of sugar I need before it's sweet enough. It will be interesting to see if I can add much less sugar and still have it taste sweet enough.
Much less. I feel like I need to stare off into space.
Will report back.
First of all, let me say that yesterday was not my Day One for giving up sugar. I woke up about 7 minutes before I should have been at my desk, so I didn't have time to pack my breakfast and lunch and multitude of sugarless snacks. In fact, I started my day off with a 6 oz cup of coffee sweetened with 12 grams of sugar. (3 teaspoons) That's a lot of sugar for one cup of coffee.
I have been going strong so far today. In fact, my total intake for the day has been less than one gram of added sugar. Tonight I'm going to go to Extreme Pita and get the pita with the lowest amount of sugar.
Now then. Let's take a moment to reflect on how much I just digressed. (My sixth grade teacher always said "Now, then group." and I stared off into space for 8-9 seconds every time she said it because I couldn't figure out what it meant.)
Back to the coffee thing. When I'm done with two whole weeks of sugar freeness..ity, I'm going to make another cup of coffee and see how many grams of sugar I need before it's sweet enough. It will be interesting to see if I can add much less sugar and still have it taste sweet enough.
Much less. I feel like I need to stare off into space.
Will report back.
*Sad Trombone*
Well, so far this blog is not helping me achieve my goals. I'm UP .48% this week. I'm coming off a half-week of being miserably sick, and I was hoping some dehydration would boost my numbers. heh. No excuses anymore, I'm getting back on track.
For a very long time, I have wanted to try a sugar-free diet. I don't mean sugar-free gum and sugar-free candy and sugar-free beverages.. I mean a diet where I limit my total table sugar intake to 20 grams a day or less. That's what I am going to start this week. I don't know that it will affect the scale so much as my overall energy. I'm anxious to try it. It will be interesting to see how the first two days compare to how I feel two weeks in. If I post anything overly crabby tomorrow or Tuesday, you'll know I'm sticking to my diet.
Since my cousin Wendy has wisely advised against any kind of chart involving pies, I will forego the visual aid again this week. Maybe next week I'll post some before and after pictures of my elbows. I have nice elbows.
For a very long time, I have wanted to try a sugar-free diet. I don't mean sugar-free gum and sugar-free candy and sugar-free beverages.. I mean a diet where I limit my total table sugar intake to 20 grams a day or less. That's what I am going to start this week. I don't know that it will affect the scale so much as my overall energy. I'm anxious to try it. It will be interesting to see how the first two days compare to how I feel two weeks in. If I post anything overly crabby tomorrow or Tuesday, you'll know I'm sticking to my diet.
Since my cousin Wendy has wisely advised against any kind of chart involving pies, I will forego the visual aid again this week. Maybe next week I'll post some before and after pictures of my elbows. I have nice elbows.
I'm on a Bloat
Just a quick entry to let you know that I'm a big loser! Well, not yet. I'm hooked on the Biggest Loser, and while I doubt you're interested in my actual weight or goal weight, I will let you know that I am trying to lose 20%. Well, actually.. 22.3%. Seems like a lot.. I just know that if I blog about it, it will keep me honest! I actually started a few weeks ago, and since then I have lost 3.89%. Yeah! I will weigh in once a week and post the percentage lost that week. Feel free to comment on your own success or hopes, and be sure to comment on what motivates you. I'll take tips, too!
I think it's important that I come up with some kind of visual. Maybe a pie chart. Or a graph of some kind. Hmm. I'm not good with visual aids. You might have to use your imagination. We'll see.
See you next week!
I think it's important that I come up with some kind of visual. Maybe a pie chart. Or a graph of some kind. Hmm. I'm not good with visual aids. You might have to use your imagination. We'll see.
See you next week!
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